Five Steps to Getting Rid of a Grudge
Kelsey Mark, Yahoo! Contributor Network
Oct 10, 2008
Step one of getting rid of a grudge...Admit you have a grudge
The first step is the easiest. Admit that you have a problem with resentment towards a certain person. Admitting this will help you to get the most out of the next steps. Knowing that you have a problem with a grudge will get you motivated to do something about it.
Step two of getting rid of a grudge...Forgive and forget?
Forgive and forget? It's cliché but so true. You have to forgive the person who wronged you so thoroughly. Remember, this is not to help them but to help you. You are not doing this for them. You are doing this for you. One way to start you on the path to forgiving a hurt done to you is by acknowledging it and the pain and then trying to let it go. Think over in your head what that person did to you, without getting angry and slandering them. Think about the changes that action brought upon your life, the good (if there are any) and the bad changes. Acknowledge them, don't just try to forget about them and then have them fester in you. There are two kinds of grudges. Those that you think about all the time and those that you don't think about but are always there. You don't want either kind in your life. You want to be free of those things don't you? Well, then you are going to have to tough it out and try to get rid of that grudge. Forget what that person did to you only after you have healed from it. Only after you have forgiven them. Step three will help with this.
Step three of getting rid of a grudge...Think kind thoughts!
I know. Thinking kind thoughts about someone who really hurt you isn't easy...Wait. I take that back. It's downright hard, but if you want to get rid of that grudge that is shriveling up your life like an old prune than you had better start thinking good thoughts. As soon as you realize you are thinking something uncharitable about the person who hurt you then go in the opposite direction. Think of something that is nice about that person (even if you can't seem to think of anything, try), no matter how mundane or little it may seem. A little goes a long way.
Step four of getting rid of a grudge...Two sides to every story
Now, you may not want to but try to see the other person's point of view. Did they think they were justified in what they were doing? Did they think they were helping in some weird way? This does not make what they did right, but it may help you get over what they did. It can give you a better understanding and maybe help you to let go of that grudge a little easier.
Step five of getting rid of a grudge... Just let it go
Sometimes you just have to let something go. A lot of you smart parents out there know that you have to pick your battles with your kids. The same applies here. You have to decide if what you are upset about really hurt you or if it is just something you need to let go. If it really hurt you then do the steps listed above, if you have to let it go then do just that. Let it go as just another irritation that comes from life.
"The things I have listed above are not going to be easy to do. But they will be worth while. I hope that after you have tried one of these things I have l listed the grudge that has taken hold of your life will loosen it's grasp and give you back what is rightfully yours. A joyful and forgiving heart."