Monday, June 27, 2011

Forgiveness - the Gift You Give Yourself


Greetings Once Again!  Forgiveness is not always easy to do.... There may be times while on our journey when our spirit is wounded. As human beings we are very vulnerable to being hurt.  When we feel the pain of an unkind action from another person... it is sometimes very difficult to find forgiveness in our heart.  The following is an article that learning to forgive is actually a "Gift" to our self.  If you are struggling with forgiving someone... Trust the God and allow your Spirit to be free.... Give a gift to yourself! =)


Forgiveness - the Gift You Give Yourself
Forgiveness is Important for Healing Your Mental Health and Emotional State
Michy Lynn, Yahoo! Contributor Network
Sep 30, 2006

"Many people seem to have a misunderstanding about what it really means to forgive someone for a wrong done to them. This article will explore a little bit about what forgiveness is and the reasons why forgiveness is important.



The first thing I want to point out is what is, to me, the most important part about forgiveness - that forgiveness is NOT a gift you give to another, but rather something you do inside of yourself, for yourself. The other person need never know. You can choose to extend forgiveness to the other person, if that is your choice, but it is not necessary in order to forgive inside of yourself and heal the pain you carry for a wrong another has done to you or that has affected you.




Forgiveness doesn't mean reconciliation - nor does it mean you have to allow a behavior that can hurt you to continue to hurt you. Forgiveness is, in essence, the acknowledgment inside of yourself that the person who has wronged you in some way is a fallible human being - and that, like a human being, they made a mistake worthy of your forgiveness.

Now, I believe everyone deserves forgiveness inside of themselves, because to hold on to old wounds defeats you as a person. It closes off a part of your heart and self that you cannot give to anyone else as long as you hang on to the anger and bitterness that remains in you when you do not forgive. However, I do not believe the other party who has wronged you always deserves that forgiveness to be extended to them. And many times, they do not deserve reconciliation.





Forgiveness doesn't come automatically - but the party who wronged you does not have to ask for forgiveness for you to give it. The party who wronged you doesn't even have to admit they made a mistake or did anything that requires forgiving. The party who wronged you doesn't even have to make amends in order for you to forgive them. Remember, forgiveness is not a gift you give to another, but rather something you do inside of yourself - for yourself.

Forgiveness IS a choice - you have to choose to forgive and let go of the pain.
Reconciliation and forgiveness are two separate things - they are not mutually exclusive. Forgiving someone does not mean you have to reconcile with that person. If the other person has wronged you so severely that you simply could not trust to allow this person in your life in any capacity - reconciliation is not possible, but forgiveness is.
Forgiving doesn't mean opening yourself back up to be hurt again.





Forgiving doesn't mean allowing the other person's behavior to continue.

For reconciliation - the other person must admit their wrongdoing and ask for forgiveness, and then they must take action to prevent that wrongdoing from happening again. Reconciliation requires both you to forgive and the other person to take action. Forgiveness on the other hand doesn't even require the other person at all.

You can extend forgiveness to those who are no longer living - but you cannot reconcile with them. You can extend forgiveness to someone who is no longer in your life and never will be again, but you cannot reconcile with them. You can extend forgiveness to someone who hurt you or abused you - but you do not have to allow that person in your life again to hurt or abuse you more.




Forgiveness sets you free. Forgiveness lets you remove the pain you carry inside of you that you feel was done by another's wrongdoing. The other person need not admit the wrongdoing. The other person need not make amends. The other person need not do anything. Forgiveness is something done inside of yourself, to release you from the pain of the wrongdoing.

Forgiveness releases your need for revenge. Vengeance is counterproductive to healing. Revenge is never as sweet as we believe it will be, and vengeance serves no purpose. When anger subsides, the need for vengeance fades, and any action taken in the name of revenge is action you will probably find you need to forgive yourself for - or will have to ask for forgiveness for, at some point.

It is important, however, to understand the difference between justice and vengeance.

To forgive, you must let go of your desire for vengeance. However, forgiveness does not mean letting go of your right for justice.



What is the difference?
Vengeance is wanting to make the other person suffer as much or more than the perceived suffering you have felt because of their actions, simply because of what they did to you, and to find pleasure or amusement in their pain because of the way they wronged you.

I realize that moral accounting is already in effect - and justice, as the universe deals it, will be served.

Forgiveness means letting go of the pain inside of you, while still allowing you to seek justice served morally or legally. Life moves forward without the weight that holding on to a lost cause brings.

Remember, forgiveness is not a gift you give another, but something you do inside of yourself – for yourself. When you look at it this way, forgiveness is possible in any situation, once you are ready to release the pain of the wrongdoing and move on with your life."

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Trust in Relationships



Greetings! Relationships!  This can be a hot or a cold topic! Ha!  I am sure if you have every been involved with someone you have experienced the ups and downs that are apart of this journey. Speaking from experience it is sometimes hard to trust after a trust has been broken. Many times we allow past hurts and pains to interfere with current or perspective relationships. Trust is not only important in  a relationship, but is also crucial to communication for those who are involved. The following is an article by Simara James.... Open your heart and allow your spirit to be free to trust again.... You must understand how to trust before you can trust!  Sincere Peace!
Trust in Relationships

Tips to Establish Unbreakable Trust



Simara James, Yahoo! Contributor Network
Jan 22, 2009

"Logic and life experience tell us that we can't control the actions of another human being. So how can a person ever bring him or herself to trust someone else fully? How can you trust someone to do the right thing where it concerns you when you can't even trust yourself to act honorably 100% of the time? The answer is simple; you CAN'T. This reality can cause you to act out of fear instead of love in your relationships and create the very scenario you dread...the loss of love. Authentic love can't co-exist with fear and mistrust.

You may have been hurt by betrayal in the past and wondering how you'll ever be able to trust anyone so blindly with your heart, your resources, YOU, again. You may feel like the betrayals you've endured have stolen your innocence and ability to love freely. The truth is that everyone who spends any amount of time on this earth has to deal with being deceived or betrayed...even by those closest to them. It's a consequence of coexisting with billions of imperfect and sometimes downright villainous people. The truth is that those painful experiences leave us with a gift if we choose to accept it. They leave us with an incentive to learn to give and love even MORE freely, but with our eyes wide open and a kind of trust that can't be shaken.


 
You Can Only Trust in Your Higher Power and Yourself

If you first trust in God and his unyielding love for you, the knowledge that He can always work things out can be your comfort during times when you are feeling insecure in your relationships. Once you've established a solid belief that God as your back, you can build the skills you need in order to trust in YOU.


 

You CAN Recover from Emotional Pain

No matter how confident you are in your higher power, discovering betrayal hurts. Sometimes it hurts to the core. But what you can trust in is that if you keep on waking up every day, the pain WILL dissipate. Sometimes the fear of someone betraying us can become paralyzing, even when nothing has happened yet...especially if we've been hurt before. We waste our time and energy on futile attempts to control the actions of another person because it feels like the discovery of another betrayal could potentially destroy us. But in reality, it doesn't have to. Developing coping skills in advance can give you confidence that you will overcome any adversity and come out stronger on the other side. Save that time and energy you spend trying to keep tabs on your friend or partner and spend it enjoying them in the moment.


 

You Can Always Find Ways to Meet Your Own Emotional Needs

Be careful not to invest your emotional energy in one place. Most of it should be invested in developing your relationship with God, the source of love, and the rest should be spread around. If you're getting all of your emotional needs met in one place and that resource is suddenly no longer available, it's much more difficult to bounce back from betrayal. This isn't to say that you should limit your love. Love is not subject to logic. You have enough love to give everyone in your life 100%. Keep in touch with friends. Stay connected to family. Spread the love! Besides, expecting one other human being to meet all of your emotional needs is a tall order that no one can fill.


 

You Can Always Find Ways to Fill Your Time With Meaningful Activities

You may fear that the loss of a certain someone in your life may leave a void. That's a real possibility. The time you spent building and enjoying a relationship will still be there if the relationship ends. But fret not. There are an endless number of ways to occupy it. You can join social groups at the click of a button and meet tons of new people. You can volunteer. You can take the time you've been meaning to take to complete projects. The possibilities are endless.


 
You Will Love Again

If you've been hurt before you've already learned one lesson. Love always finds you again. People come in and out of your life for seasons and there is always a benefit to having had them participate in your story. If a person leaves following a betrayal, get excited about the room they left for someone new to add something special to your life. You can even be grateful for those who have come and gone when you focus on the gifts they left behind.


 
The key to trusting and loving without fear is not finding someone who will never betray you, its accepting the reality that you can NEVER control, monitor, or discover everything a person does. Focus on loving who they are and what the two of you add to each other's lives and eventually you'll find that your so called "Trust Issues" have melted away."

Friday, June 17, 2011

Top Secrets of Having a Good Life


Hello once again!  The choices we make in life can effect not only our self, but those people we love and cherish everyday. Sometimes while on our spiritual journey we are faced with many difficult decisions. And at times these choices are not easy ones to make. The following is an article with suggestions of how to have a good life.... If you are in a position of where you must make a choice .... trust your Spirit and let God help you choose the right path.


Top Secrets of Having a Good Life



It Can Be Difficult, but It's Worth it




Marybeth Neff, Yahoo! Contributor Network
Nov 7, 2006



"Everyone wants to have a good life, but many of us can’t seem to reach that goal. How can you have a good life? These are some ideas on how to achieve that desire:



Decide that you really want a good life. Many of say we want a good life, but we don’t really decide to have a good life. You have to decide to make a good life for yourself; not just hope that you do. It’s a lot of work to make your life what you want it to be, but it is worth all the effort.




Know what you want to do. Sometimes we take jobs just to have a job; sometimes we make important life choices in the same way. You date someone, think you’d like to be married, and marry that person before you explore all your feelings and options. You have to decide what you want to do, both in your personal and professional life. This can be difficult as sometimes we choose that which is current in our lives, over what we really want it to be. The status quo can be a lot easier than questioning who we are, what we are really suited for, and what we really want. Knowing what you want to do takes a lot of self-examination and honesty.




Make a plan. When you have decided how you want your life to be, make a time schedule for achieving your life goals. You need definite steps in the plan that will make it possible for you to reach your desires. Ask yourself, “What do I have to do to get there?” Make a plan that is achievable. If the plan is too grandiose, you won’t reach your goal. You must be practical when making plans that will work for you.




Boundaries. Sometimes we have a plan, but we either get distracted or let others talk us out of it. You must set boundaries for yourself and for others in your life. If you have a good plan, follow it step by step. If you get easily distracted, eliminate the things that distract you. If people tell you your plan is not good, or that you will be sorry if you follow it, you must tell them that you don’t want to hear negative things about your plan. Putting these boundaries in place will help you stay focused and carry out your goals.



Don’t quit. There will be times while you are following your plan for a good life when you make a bad choice or get discouraged at your apparent lack of progress. The important thing is to get back to following your plan. You may find that you need to change something in your plan because it is not realistic, so change it. Altering some steps in the plan doesn’t mean that it is a bad plan or that you won’t achieve your goals. No plan is perfect and as you go through life, you may find things that just won’t work for you. It is crucial for you to keep on going toward your achievement of a good life for yourself.




Reward yourself. Everyone needs encouragement and support. You are no different. If you have supportive people in your life, they will provide the support you need to keep following your plan to have a good life. If you can’t rely on encouragement from the people around you, you have to reward yourself. For each step you reach, give yourself something that makes you happy. Attend a sports event or a ballet or anything you like to do. Buy a new shirt or blouse; do something that rewards your perseverance and dedication. You deserve a reward for all your efforts. Just looking back on your plan and acknowledging all you have achieved may be reward enough for you. Whatever it is, just make sure you feel rewarded as you reach your goals, one by one.




If you follow your plan for a good life, you will experience contentment and less stress as you go on. When you achieve your goal of a good life for yourself, you will know it and feel it. All your efforts will be worth it. "

Monday, June 13, 2011

Brand New Ways to Live a Simple Life


Greetings once again!  I am sure that you know by now that life has away of bogging us down. ha! In fact at time our simple little world can become very complicated and almost unbearable.  This is when we need to stop and rewind.  Take a good look at your life and decide on ways to make it much simpler.  When we take the time to make our life simple... we can refresh our spirit. Trust God and explore ways to make your life a bit more simple!  Sincere Peace! =)
Brand New Ways to Live a Simple Life

How to Live a Simple Life Without Complications


Ojo Oluwakemi, Yahoo! Contributor Network
May 9, 2011

"How can we ever live a simple life when we hurriedly pursuit and devour life with breathless speed? Why are our lives becoming more complicated bit by bit? We chase and hunt everything; we constantly seem to be late for an engagement, meeting or rendezvous. Hustle and bustle is imprinted in our faces. We do not even love our selves, we lack inner peace and we are always edgy and impatient.

Simplicity can make our lives beautiful, gives us peace of mind, serenity and a harmonious life.

Here are a few ways to live a simple life, and male our lives permanently lovable and beautiful with no complications:
 

Love Yourself:

Knowing ourselves is the commencement of living a simple life; it is the underpinning rock upon which all other principles of living a simple life are created or found. Except we come into an understanding of who we are, love ourselves - have an actual liking to ourselves, recognize and know our opinions, be at ease with our own company and respect ourselves, then we can start building all other principles which will shoot us up to living a simple life without any stress or complications.


Be Patient:

Haste and more race is what we all want, we want fast things - fast money, build houses within days, become successful within a twinkle of an eye; nowadays, every creation, development, and innovation are inclined to hurry things up such as social networking, businesses, dating, channel of communication, information flow, etc. We forget that living our lives hurriedly can give us emotional strains, cardiac arrest, heart diseases, deprive us of living a serene and blissful life, shorten our lives and send us to early grave.

Even at our work place, it is excellent to work steadily to produce a better result because what matters most is the quality of our work and not the quantity we can do before the end of a day.

For us to obtain or live a simple life we have to be patient with everything we do or what comes our way. We have to take things easy and steady in order to achieve the success in life. We can not build our lives or achieve great things in one day, we have to slow down and understand how it should to be done.

We can not get wisdom, erudition and understanding instantaneously, we have to be patient and give ourselves time to learn and have experience before we can achieve. That's the reason why we go through different education levels before we can become professionals or have a great career and be good in what we do. Steadily, we can win the race.

Living a simple life can make our life an arcade of elegance and not a breathing mausoleum; we have to be patient in every thing we do, slow down, don't be in haste or hurry and have fun. Life is not a competition; we are not in this world to compete with anyone.


Take a vacation:

Everyone becomes weary, washed-out, dog-tired and fatigued due to their unbroken toil of every day activities or jobs. At a point in our lives, we need a time to rest, relax, and get refreshed by taking a vacation.

Taking a vacation is a worthwhile mission that is very enjoyable and satisfying and can as well help you to live a longer life and have a good health. Vacation re-energizes and revitalizes our body, soul and mind; it makes us refreshed and makes us look forward for fresh innovation, plans, and ideas. We need to call for vacation time to start refreshed and live a simpler life.


Discover a Hobby:

Hobbies are what make us relax and be at ease with ourselves, some prefer to play games, read novels, watch movies, sing, listen to music or play musical instruments and many others. Indulging ourselves in hobbies can make us happy, peaceful and healthy. As the saying goes, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy", hobbies present equilibrium between our jobs and fun, especially for those people who work every time without resting or having a break because they want to be successful or make money by all means. Lets discover a new hobby and make ourselves happy.

To live a simple life, we have to possess an exceptional attribute or characteristic which is poise. Being a poise person means you have good posture, bearing, dignity, patience, self-control, self-confidence, composure and self-reliance.

"Rome was not built in a day", therefore, it is good to slow things down, be patient and enjoy the very best of life."

Friday, June 10, 2011

"Aunt Helen" - June 2011 Testimonial!


"The very first time i met Dave he was in Hamilton for a friends spiritual gathering. Talked with Dave and he mentioned seeing an older lady standing behind my left shoulder, he told me what she looked like i realized he was speaking about my Aunt Helen. I was really close to her growing up, taught me a lot about cooking and farming.


Shortly after that meeting, I booked a party with Dave and between last time and next I came across my Aunt's Obituary Now keep in mind i already had my party booked with Dave for May 22, 2011. The date on the back of my Aunt's obit was May 22, 1978. Was totally freaked out because i hadn't seen my aunts Obit in probably 15 or more years. Showed that to Dave when he came to the house and it was a great day. Staying positive and its working and changed my massage rooms for a more positive flow and gaining more business every day and owe it all to Dave. Looking forward to our next meeting!!"

Love and Light to All!!!!

Mary Heet MHeet@fuse.net
LMT
Massage and Pain Relief

Sunday, June 5, 2011

10 Ways to Boost Your Self Confidence



Greetings again!  Self Confidence is hard to come by at times for some people.  I know from personal experience that when I am not up to full power .... my self confidence or esteem may not be at its peak. There are moments while on our spiritual walk when we may feel a bit down on ourselves.  We need to learn to recognize these feelings and emotions as a temporary phase.  The following is a self help article on 10 ways to Boost Your Self Esteem....   When we feel lost and start to criticize our self we need to look to God for inner guidance.  Trust in the Spirit and your self confidence is sure to be re energized.... Sincere Peace! =)


10 Ways to Boost Your Self Confidence

 
Elizabeth Farrell, Yahoo! Contributor Network


"Achieving better self-confidence is probably one of the most common personal goals. Even though many people may appear confident, there is often a nagging feeling of insecurity, or fear of failure beneath the surface.
These fears can not only hold a person back in life, but can also cause a lot of anxiety and unhappiness. Building self-confidence can take work, but by following some easy steps and practicing these steps every day it is possible to achieve. If self-confidence issues are something that you are dealing with, try these simple ways to improve your self-image and have a better outlook on life."


1. Focus on your achievements, no matter what they may be. Make a list of everything you can think of that you've accomplished and add to it whenever you can. Take out this list whenever negative, "put down" thoughts come into your head and this can help counteract those negative feelings. Let yourself feel good about your accomplishments and bask a little in those feelings.

2. Keep toxic people out of your life. Very often when a person is feeling unhappy they become vulnerable and will allow people into their lives who are critical and negative. These toxic people can end up sabotaging your goals and leave you feeling drained and even more unhappy. By gently distancing yourself from toxic individuals you will end up feeling stronger and more capable.

3. Connect with positive people. Nurture friendships with people who bring positive aspects into your life and with whom you feel connected with in a positive way. Building healthy, supportive friendships will help you to feel more fulfilled and uplifted.

4. Problem solve rather than looking for drawbacks. It's very easy to get into the habit of complaining about problems rather than taking action. Take a more pro-active stance by looking for solutions and brainstorming for ideas. Make lists of your ideas, ask friends for feedback, do research or whatever it takes to come up with solutions as long as it's something positive and productive.


5. Learn from your failures. Don't let failures make you feel like a failure, instead look at them as learning experiences. Shrug them off and remember that they are part of life. Take on a new challenge afterward, but also be realistic about your abilities and try not to over-reach when it comes to setting goals.

6. Do things that you enjoy and that you are good at. Doing enjoyable, fulfilling activities will help to increase your positive outlook and keep your mind occupied in a healthy way. Also, try to keep a wide range of interests in your life rather than focusing all of your energy on one thing. Take an interest in the world around you and experience things that are enjoyable and stimulating to you.


7. Take care of your health. By eating right, exercising and getting a good night's sleep you will not only keep your body healthy but also improve your entire outlook on life.

8. Take pleasure in how you look. Dress in clothes that are flattering to you and keep yourself well groomed. Taking care of your appearance can do wonders in improving self-confidence.


9. Visualize yourself as a confident person. Relax and imagine how you would be as a positive and confident person. Let this calming, positive image stay with you throughout the day.

10. Use positive affirmations. Replace those negative thoughts that pop into your head when you're feeling down with more positive ones. Tell yourself, "I am capable", "I can succeed" and other positive affirmations that will help boost your self-image. It may sound simple, but actually these positive thoughts can go a long way in improving your outlook on life.